Speech Draft
Introduction:
According to UNICEF, one child is killed in the world every 5 minutes. How many children do suffer from violence then? Emotional, physical, sexual? How do they live after all the abuse they experienced? Today I'm really inspired to talk to you about the first effect such children get - aggression behaviour.
All of us at least once suffered from aggressive classmate or neighbour and sometimes even strangers in the street can hurt us. We try to find a reason in our own behaviour, we ask ourselves what I did wrong? But actually the reason they treat us aggressively - their own aggression raised in childhood by violent parents.
First I want to share a personal experience with you, the case when I was once bullied without any reasons. Then it is important to sort out what is aggression and what causes it. Finally We are going to know how to overcome the guilt feeling and stop looking for reasons in our actions and words.
Body:
Let's start. So this is a short story about an aggressive girl and me, not realizing what caused her aggression to me.
Last summer I worked as a junior camp counselor. I’m pretty sure some of you did the same then. Everything was just fine: I made friends with children under my responsibility, I got into the atmosphere and liked the administration, I even used to the outdoor toilets and flies in my bed but there I faced the problem I thought I would never face. SHE was a camp counselor of a neighboring group of children but as there were four of camp counselors living in one room she was my neighbor. Day by day she was rude to me and tried to hurt me with stupid jokes. There were nights when I woke up at 3 am or so because my partner counselor and two neighboring counselors were talking about me. About my actions, my words. Not only about me of course. About other people too. And as a climax there was a situation when I asked that girl something and she said like Don’t piss me off! I was shocked. I asked her why she treated me like that. She answered “Don’t you understand? Don’t freak me out!” I said, puzzled “No, I don’t. Please, tell me”. What do you think she answered me? On second thoughts she said “I don’t want to”!!! That was something new for me. Nobody treated me like that in my whole life and I would never think it’s possible to be so rude to other people. People you don’t even know. I suppose, you want to know why she behaved like that? There is a simple answer. One day we all had rest in our room and I unintentionally heard that girl’s story about her family. She told the others that her mother lived with her step-father who always treated her badly. He bothered her with questions about her studies, her work, he said she was a burden to their family, that she lived at their expense and so on and so forth. She was 19 just for the record. Her mother never stood up for her. One day she had a day off and she went home. After 2 hours she came back and said «I just washed my jeans and left. It’s impossible to be there».
And then I understood everything. She wasn’t happy. She suffered at home. I can even say her parents did all to drive her out of their house, their family, their life. Just wanted to be free from her. Maybe they didn’t love her. And after this I did no longer look for reasons in myself. I knew she just took out her misfortune on a person who seemed weak to her. But not concerning my feeling, how many are there people who suffered at home and now being adults hurt other people by aggressive actions? Now it's time to discover what is aggression and what causes it.
Social psychologists define aggression as behavior that is intended to harm another individual who does not wish to be harmed. Statistically, here are the most common reasons what raise aggression in children:
According to UNICEF, one child is killed in the world every 5 minutes. How many children do suffer from violence then? Emotional, physical, sexual? How do they live after all the abuse they experienced? Today I'm really inspired to talk to you about the first effect such children get - aggression behaviour.
All of us at least once suffered from aggressive classmate or neighbour and sometimes even strangers in the street can hurt us. We try to find a reason in our own behaviour, we ask ourselves what I did wrong? But actually the reason they treat us aggressively - their own aggression raised in childhood by violent parents.
First I want to share a personal experience with you, the case when I was once bullied without any reasons. Then it is important to sort out what is aggression and what causes it. Finally We are going to know how to overcome the guilt feeling and stop looking for reasons in our actions and words.
Body:
Let's start. So this is a short story about an aggressive girl and me, not realizing what caused her aggression to me.
Last summer I worked as a junior camp counselor. I’m pretty sure some of you did the same then. Everything was just fine: I made friends with children under my responsibility, I got into the atmosphere and liked the administration, I even used to the outdoor toilets and flies in my bed but there I faced the problem I thought I would never face. SHE was a camp counselor of a neighboring group of children but as there were four of camp counselors living in one room she was my neighbor. Day by day she was rude to me and tried to hurt me with stupid jokes. There were nights when I woke up at 3 am or so because my partner counselor and two neighboring counselors were talking about me. About my actions, my words. Not only about me of course. About other people too. And as a climax there was a situation when I asked that girl something and she said like Don’t piss me off! I was shocked. I asked her why she treated me like that. She answered “Don’t you understand? Don’t freak me out!” I said, puzzled “No, I don’t. Please, tell me”. What do you think she answered me? On second thoughts she said “I don’t want to”!!! That was something new for me. Nobody treated me like that in my whole life and I would never think it’s possible to be so rude to other people. People you don’t even know. I suppose, you want to know why she behaved like that? There is a simple answer. One day we all had rest in our room and I unintentionally heard that girl’s story about her family. She told the others that her mother lived with her step-father who always treated her badly. He bothered her with questions about her studies, her work, he said she was a burden to their family, that she lived at their expense and so on and so forth. She was 19 just for the record. Her mother never stood up for her. One day she had a day off and she went home. After 2 hours she came back and said «I just washed my jeans and left. It’s impossible to be there».
And then I understood everything. She wasn’t happy. She suffered at home. I can even say her parents did all to drive her out of their house, their family, their life. Just wanted to be free from her. Maybe they didn’t love her. And after this I did no longer look for reasons in myself. I knew she just took out her misfortune on a person who seemed weak to her. But not concerning my feeling, how many are there people who suffered at home and now being adults hurt other people by aggressive actions? Now it's time to discover what is aggression and what causes it.
Social psychologists define aggression as behavior that is intended to harm another individual who does not wish to be harmed. Statistically, here are the most common reasons what raise aggression in children:
a. Exposure to abuse - physical, verbal, sexual.
b. Neglectful parenting
c. Emotional trauma and stress
d.Bullying.
e. Family history of violence.
f. Watching violence in the media
g. The presence of weapons in the home
h. Playing violent video games
i. Mental health conditions
So first places take abuse and neglectful parenting and then ALL that is caused by these very abuse and neglectful parenting. According to World Health Organization, approximately 20 % of women and 5-10% of men report being sexually abused as children; 25-50 % of all children report being physically abused.In Russia, according to data for the past decades, every year about 2 million children under the age of 14 are beaten by their parents, 10 % of these children die from beatings, and 2 thousand children commit suicide. I think it is enough, I just don't want to continue.
c. Emotional trauma and stress
d.Bullying.
e. Family history of violence.
f. Watching violence in the media
g. The presence of weapons in the home
h. Playing violent video games
i. Mental health conditions
So first places take abuse and neglectful parenting and then ALL that is caused by these very abuse and neglectful parenting. According to World Health Organization, approximately 20 % of women and 5-10% of men report being sexually abused as children; 25-50 % of all children report being physically abused.In Russia, according to data for the past decades, every year about 2 million children under the age of 14 are beaten by their parents, 10 % of these children die from beatings, and 2 thousand children commit suicide. I think it is enough, I just don't want to continue.
The reason why they are aggressive are their background. It is obviously maddening, horrifying fact. But how to overcome the feeling that there is something wrong with you and actually forgive the aggression, understand his actions? These tips might be of use for you when you face the aggression.
a. be confident of yourself
b. be aware of reason what cause aggression
a. be confident of yourself
b. be aware of reason what cause aggression
c. mind only your state of mind
d. never act aggressively back
e. forgive and pity the aggressor!
d. never act aggressively back
e. forgive and pity the aggressor!
Conclusion:
At this step you know my personal story of emotional abuse which was not the only case, we discussed some reasons what cause aggression and you know how to stop feeling guilt of aggressive behaviour aggressor treated you. Now we can see that people behave aggressively for different reasons but we need to pity them as they are unhappy and never treat aggressively back.
At this step you know my personal story of emotional abuse which was not the only case, we discussed some reasons what cause aggression and you know how to stop feeling guilt of aggressive behaviour aggressor treated you. Now we can see that people behave aggressively for different reasons but we need to pity them as they are unhappy and never treat aggressively back.
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